Living the Naked Life

Truth is . . . the nudist life isn’t really that strange, it’s just naked-er. Like most people, I wake up, check my phone, hit the bathroom, and make breakfast. After coffee, I do the dishes and take out the trash, then flip open my laptop to work on my book. The only difference between me and your average Joe? I do everything bare-ass naked. But it isn’t all that exciting, to be honest. Spend a day or two in the buff and you quickly forget most of the planet thinks you’re a weirdo. Hell, you start thinking everyone else is weird.

Admittedly, there’s a great sense of freedom, comfort, and sensory input that comes with a clothes-free lifestyle. It’s like trading in your tight jeans for loose pajamas. Sure, most guys like to stick to the minimum tighty-whities, ala Homer Simpson, but I guess I’m an odd duck. If I have to stuff my junk in some elastic straightjacket, you might as well put me in a parka. The testes were meant to be exposed to the air. After all, it’s the only organ to have developed outside the body, because those boys require cooler temperatures than your standard 98.6 degrees. Underwear is a hot, stuffy, disgusting rag just waiting to cause infection, which is why, I think, you sometimes see nudists in shoes or shirts but never hiding their not-so-privates.


Naked is normal.

I’m a nudist because it feels good, but unlike other feel-good drugs, wearing nothing costs nothing. Bonuses include never having to search through an overstuffed drawer for sleepwear, which saves money on clothes and detergent. You also spend a lot less time washing clothes, drying clothes, folding clothes, ironing the wrinkles out of your clothes, putting clothes in the hamper, finding hangers (but never wire hangers) for those clothes, then cramming those hangers between all the other hangers in your closet until the whole thing bursts like a dam and the rack you bought from IKEA falls apart and needs reassembling. If I’m scrubbing yesterday’s Marinara off a plate and some of it gets on me, no worries! If I’m watching Kyle Hill on YouTube with a bowl of Mac-N-Cheese and a noodle goes flying, same thing. Stains are never a problem on bare skin, which is why tattoos are painful and expensive. Sometimes, after pulling weeds under a hot sun, I jump in the pool for a cool minute. No need to look for a suit—I’m always wearing one! And when I get out of the water, my body dries almost instantly. In my home state of Florida, our AC often gives up the fight and it can get up to 100 degrees indoors. As a naked guy, I cool off easy. I even set the thermostat higher to save on $$$ and save the planet.



OK, Nick, you may be saying, all this is well and good, but there must be something bad about the nude life, right? Well, sure. There’s a lot more jiggling going on. Human beings are mostly bags of water, so even if you’re 99% muscle, some jiggling will occur, especially when you’re mixing a bowl of pancake batter. Morning wood can also be a hassle if the kids are home. I don’t want to explain why dad’s penis magically changes sizes throughout the day, so I usually stay in bed until things calm down. Then again, even in boxers “tenting” is a thing, so this is really just a gross guy-thing, not a nudist thing. Another con: if the wife isn’t home and there’s a knock at the door, I have to run for my shorts. I don’t really mind greeting visitors as God made me, especially if it’s a Jehovah’s Witness; more people need to be exposed to everyday, casual nudity if we ever want to stop getting banned on Facebook for posting vacation photos. But my wife doesn’t really want to start a revolution and I don’t blame her. Still, reaching for clothes just to grab the Amazon package sitting inches from my door is just a ridiculous exercise. Worst-case scenario: the lady walking her dog catches a glimpse of my penis. Or the kids outdoors get a PG lesson in human anatomy in more graphic detail than what they’ll find on Google. Late at night, when the world is asleep, I don’t even bother with the shorts. I might even take a stroll around the block. Finally, there’s the delicate matter of the neighbors. From Google Earth, our houses look like an apartment. Their second-story windows look directly over our fence and into our yard, but there’s no way I am going to start swimming in trunks or sit in my yard sweltering in overalls. I know they can spy on me, but it’s been twenty years and I have yet to receive any blackmail. And if you can’t be free in your own home, where can you be?

Now, it wasn’t always like this. Before COVID hit, my naked time was limited to school hours. Family dynamics can be confusing, whether you’re a nudist or not. My wife has no problem with stripping off at our local resort, she’s just perpetually cold. Honestly, I think she’s one of those women from Venus. But when the kids came along, I worried a lot about our conservative families, my Christian Orthodox parents and her (I kid you not) Muslim parents. I didn’t want to burden our children with secrets, and also didn’t want them confused about why daddy only wears clothes when the in-laws are in town. My kid once traipsed through the house in her birthday suit on her sixth birthday, but nobody quite knew what to say because everyone is confused about nudity in social situations. So I started covering up at home, except in the pool, because swimming in clothing should be a crime. Family showering was also a pretty cool thing to do until puberty. But there was something about being naked 24/7—in the living room, at the dinner table, on the couch—that just felt weird. That is, until the infamous 2020 lockdown. With everyone homeschooled and the resorts shut down, I’d lost my freedom. Since before the age of pubic hair, I’d dreamed about a clothes-free life on a nightly basis: my parents and sister and brother coming home to find me on my bare butt watching He-Man. They would say to me “Hi, Nick,” and I would say “Hi” back and that would be that. No weird looks. No judgment. Nothing. Maybe my dreams were an Inception-like plot to mess with me. But with the threat of death looming all over the news, I started to think: why not? I’d hate to be coughing out my last breath in the ICU, with my hospital gown, never having worked the courage to reject such a silly taboo. I mean, you only live ONCE and you’re only young ONCE. Why was I so worried about what other people thought? That’s when my awesome wife encouraged me not to worry, that I didn’t have to hide anymore. “Really?” I said. “You don’t mind?” She assured me she didn’t, that she agreed with me on a philosophical level, but that she was just too damn cold to participate. “And it’s not like we haven’t seen you naked a hundred times before.” Being the only naked person in the house can seem pretty weird, especially if you’re new to the idea, but the novelty wore off quickly and ‘skin’ became like just another outfit. Trust me, nipples, butt-cracks, vulvas, and penises don’t have to be “sensitive content,” despite what social media will have us believe. Whatever you got down there is the same thing 3.5-billion people have already, and friends and family stop noticing it after a day or two. If you’re lucky, they might even join you! Nudist families are more common than you think.


A nude family is a happy one!

Living naked 24/7 is literally a dream come true. If not for work, going out for groceries, or hitting up our local Cheesecake Factory, I’d probably be burning all my clothes in a glorious bonfire. I don’t know what living in Alaska is like, but here in Florida where it’s hotter than Satan’s balls, dressing up every damn day feels pointless and stupid. And things aren’t getting any better with global warming. In a few decades’ time, folks will be dropping dead with heat stroke, and I am sure even then mothers will be clutching their pearls and husbands will be losing their monocles should they spot a naked me cooling off at the park. Sure, style can say a lot about your personality, and I do enjoy the occasional Spider-Man T-shirt, but jeans, socks, and shoes can be torture most of the time, and what am I really saying to the public in my LEVIS? That I am just like every other 40-something dad who really doesn’t know what to wear? That I am split between I-used-to-go-to-Church slacks and I-think-I-might-go-jogging-later shorts? I don’t need a Queer Eye for fashion. I know who I am. And if I am to be honest, to truly express myself, I can’t be walking around like a billboard for a bunch of name brands I care nothing about. Polo can’t compete with a million years of natural selection. Skin is in, and it’s not going away any time soon. And If I am to be me, then I have to be me. Just me.

Things you can do that are more fun in the nude: swimming, laundry, algebra, painting miniatures, Scrabble, video games, sleeping, showering, having sex, Twister. But there are a few exceptions I don’t recommend: frying bacon, sliding into third base, Twister.


Everything is more fun in the nude!

11 thoughts on “Living the Naked Life

Add yours

  1. Hi Nick. No wonder I liked AEnya. When it comes to the written word, you’re a class act. Congratulations. This article continues the trend. It’s so insightful and your candour, openness and honesty are both refreshing and courageous. Your sense of humour blends so well with the serious points that you are making. Long may you continue your creativity – both fiction and non-fiction alike. Cheers. Andrew.

    Like

    1. Thanks, Andrew! I greatly appreciate the comment. And sorry for the delay in posting it. For some reason, this comment ended up in my spam folder; I had to mark it as “not spam” for it to show up.

      Like

  2. Hi Nick. I actually thought I’d replied to this when you first published it so apologies if it got lost. Needless to say, I enjoyed this article like everything you write. Congratulations on achieving normal nudity at home. It’s just a pity about the rest of the world! Cheers. Andrew.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Andrew, that is much appreciated. And yes, living without clothes is truly the best way to live. I only wish more people could discover it. Feel free to share your experience any time.

      Like

  3. Hi Nick, How did you introduce your 24/7 nudist life to your children? What was their initial reaction? Did you have to explain or convince them to accept your new lifestyle?
    My teenage kids don’t want to see me naked, even not for a short moment. I respect their feelings and don’t want to upset them, so my naked life is limited to the moments they are not at home. Which does not happen very often. Your experience and advice on how to change this might help.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Joey,

      If you haven’t been raising your kids around nudity, then you may be at a disadvantage here.

      Before I married my wife, I made sure to be very upfront with her about my nudism. I let her know just how important it was to me and that I expected a level of clothes-freedom when we were together. We also visited resorts together so she could see what the lifestyle was all about. I am sure that if I had just sprung the idea at her late in our marriage, she’d probably think I was nuts. So the first question I have to ask is 1) are you married? and 2) is your wife OK with nudism? Oftentimes, kids will feel more comfortable when they see both parents are comfortable.

      The second most important thing is something you may not be able to do anything about at this point. My kids were eased into the idea of nudism because, ever since they were little, they never saw me swim with a suit on, unless we were at a textile beach. We often showered together and they went with us to various nude beaches around the Greek isles. If they are mostly grown and have never seen you naked before, it’ll probably come as a shock. Always remember to be sensitive to their feelings, because nudism is about comfort and acceptance; if they feel awkward and uncomfortable, you will too!

      You might start by talking about nudism first, what it is and what it means to you. Let them know that it isn’t sexual, but quite the opposite. Assure them that you do not want them to ever feel badly and that you can go nude when they are not around. You might also try wearing something loose around the house, like a sarong, to acclimate them to the idea. But be patient and sensitive to their comfort levels.

      Like

  4. Great article.We have neighbors that swim nude in their backyard pool and they are clearly visible from our upstairs window but I have no problem with it.One day when they were out there,I pulled back the drapes and stood there totally nude and when they looked up and saw me they smiled and waved and I smiled and waved back.I did it as a gesture to let them know that I’m not only Ok with them being nude out there,they can see me that way as well and that I’m also a nudist and they don’t have to worry:)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s a great little anecdote. It’s funny that we never really know who might be a nudist and who isn’t, who would make a big deal of it, and who wouldn’t bat an eye.

      Like

  5. Nick, living the naked life is well written description of the advantages of living clothes free.

    I find it very environmentally friendly in that one pollutes less, uses less energy and saves a lot of money! And it costs nothing to accomplish all this.

    I let all my potential visitors know about my life preference to be naked where appropriate or where there is a private enough setting. Those that have a problem with seeing a person natural, will call before coming over , many have no problem with it and come by unannounced in advance.

    I feel it is by being open and truthful, ie do not surprise anyone so they can make choices deescalate the possibility of offending some one.

    Dave in Virginia

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sounds wonderful, Dave. There really is no better way to live. So few will ever experience this lifestyle, but by sharing and being open about who we are and not shying away from exposing our bodies, we encourage more people to give it a try.

      Like

      1. Nick,
        I do not know of anyone that has adopted or even tried the naked lifestyle after being around me or seen me working or cooking in the nude. There seems to be several different reactions; one, accept me as I am and treat me the same as if I were dressed or not, 2d call in advance so I know to dress as they plan on stopping by, and lastly, avoid coming over all together. I listed these reactions in order of mostly accepted by most first. Most do not call in advance. Only two ladies will not visit anymore but still keep in contact.
        I have to say, it does take some getting used to and become natural and expected by many.

        I am very open about my being naked anywhere it is allowed and accepted. It is not right or good practice to surprise anyone and avoid being naked in front of someone who finds nudity a great violation of decency. And of course take great steps not to be seen by a child.

        I do find it very interesting to observe people’s reactions to nudity. Many have seen me, almost everyone living anywhere near me knows I am naked a lot at home and work on my house in the nude. I have found you can not stereotype anyone’s reaction based on politics, gender, religion or being liberal or conservative.

        Many women will say, “it’s ok for you to be naked but don’t expect me to be” So yes, it’s more normal for me to be the only one naked but not always.

        I do feel that being naked and open about it, more will get used to the practice and will find it increasingly more accessible in more situations.

        Dave

        Like

Leave a Reply to Joey Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Up ↑